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Motherhood W.I.F.E

7 Huge Takeaways My Children Shared After Watching War Room

War Room came on the scene and blew everyone away. Period.

This movie is a marriage, relationship & personal prayer life game changer. Or least it can be if you are open to it.

I honestly can’t see how you can come away from watching War Room and not be moved, not even a little bit. The night we first saw the movie, my grandmother watched our children so we call ourselves doing a date night.

What was supposed to be a lovey dovey night, ended up being an all night discussion (after the movie) as we dealt with some things in our marriage that we both can do better with.

I honestly didn’t think my children would want to see this movie, and it never crossed my mind to let them watch it (at least not now). Well, last Saturday evening, my husband told our children he wanted them to see something.

When he said, War Room, my daughter got excited! I’m honestly not sure why, but she loves watching movies as a family, so that could have been why she was happy.

My son immediately let out a grimm whine, “Mommmm! I don’t want to see War Room! I heard it isn’t that good!” Now, I am really intrigued at his response. I asked,  “Who could have possibly told you that? Your other 10 year old friends?”

The funniest thing was, during the movie my son was the main one talking during every scene; laughing, giving his thoughts, and even crying on certain parts. Yes, my 10 year old son cries when he’s sad during movies.

He’s sensitive.

He ran over to hug me at least twice during the movie.

Needless to say, they both enjoyed War Room and even shared with me their 7 Takeaways:

Son (10 years old):

  1. Always Pray – No matter what, prayer can change things.
  2. Don’t fight against your prayers – If you pray for it, believe it will happen. Don’t ask for something and do the opposite because you really do not believe it.
  3. Love your husband – In the beginning, my son did not like the “husband” in the movie because he was a jerk to his wife and daughter. However, the shift that he made in his life and behavior, brought my son to tears.
  4. Let God takeover – When you give God control, anything is possible.

Daughter (8 years old):

  1. Always listen to your heart – listen to the small voice in your head.
  2. Never cheat on a girl – you have to see the movie to get this statement.
  3. Never say that your parents do not love you – the little girl in this movie was so powerful. Not only do you want to be a better spouse, but a better parent!

I love hearing their perspective on certain things. Not only did they enjoy the movie, my daughter watched it again tonight (her choice).

War Room

From a parents perspective, War Room helped reinforce to me that our children are paying attention to us all.the.time. They also feel when we aren’t giving them our all.

Lately, my daughter has been all up under me. Hugging me more, kissing my cheeks, or just coming in the room to stand near me. It took me a while to realize, she doesn’t want anything (like a toy), but just more time with Mommy.

She really just wants more of my attention.

I’ve started stopping what I’m doing and just hugging her. Talking with her, making sure she is good. I’ll make a joke and her smile will light up the room.

I feel like I am going off on a tangent, but honestly War Room can make you look at many different areas of your life. Just like a good book, the more you read it – the more lessons you get from it.

What is War Room?

With great jobs, a beautiful daughter (Alena Pitts) and a dream house, the Jordans seem to have it all. Appearances can be deceiving, however, as husband Tony (T.C. Stallings) flirts with temptation and wife Elizabeth (Priscilla Shirer) becomes increasingly bitter, crumbling under the strain of a failing marriage. Their lives take an unexpected turn for the better when Elizabeth meets her newest client, Miss Clara (Karen Abercrombie), who encourages the couple to find happiness through prayer.

This movie grossed $68 Million world wide! 

Also, neither one of my children could tell me what a War Room was at the end of the movie, although I did make sure I fully explained it.

Have you seen War Room? What was a major take away for you in terms of Parenting? Marriage? Do you have a War Room? Would you let your children watch it?


7 Scriptures About Speaking Things into Existence

“You don’t get in life what you want, you get what you believe.” Oprah Winfrey

I am not sure if she was the first person to say it, but I’ve heard her say it a few times. It’s like a whisper in my spirit.

I’ve been in church all of my life and sometimes I believe we go to church so much, it has become routine. Meaning, I wonder do people really listen to the Word of God and apply it to their life on a daily bases versus as needed.

Based on the conversations with many churchgoers, it doesn’t seem like it. They praise God in church with raised hands & a worship on their lips but during the week they are not speaking LIFE. Period.

I Choose to Believe

There are hundreds if not thousands of books out there on how to get the life you want if you do XYZ & 123. One thing that my husband said is true, 9 times out of 10, those secrets, steps & tips are already in the bible! They just say it differently.

True! God is the original motivational speaker!

Saturday, I told myself, “BUMP IT! I am going to BELIEVE from this day forward that everything I want to happen in my life IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I will believe it for me and my family.

I will make it a habit to consciously speak LIFE, watch my words at all times and believe in God & what He has for me shall come to pass. I will be intentional in every area of my life.

7 Scriptures about Speaking Things into Existence

  1. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.  Proverbs 18:21
  2. Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.. Phil 4:8
  3. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith. Matt 21:22
  4. So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:11
  5. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Mark 11:23
  6. But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matt 4:4


  • For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 1 Peter 3:10

The thing is, God gives us rules to live by and clear instructions on how to have a fulfilled life. So many times we (I’ve done it too) pick & choose what we want to follow out of the bible. We pick the scripture that benefits us at the time we need it the most.

I believe we all want a good life, whatever good means to you. Unfortunately, our words don’t reflect that. If words have power, that means everything you say is shaping your life. You may not feel it or see it the minute you speak it, but those words are planting seeds.

Just look back on your life or even where you are now. Do you remember speaking certain things about what you want or don’t want to happen and now you are living it?

Because words have power, we clearly have to be intentional with what we speak.

Tip: Only focus on the things you want/desire. Give no energy to the things you do not want.  Watch how things start to shift.


Here are some books that you might like:

Joel Osten: I Declare, 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life
Joyce Meyer: Change Your Words, Change Your Life: Understanding the Power of Every Word You SpeaK
Keith Ellis: One Minute with God: Sixty Supernatural Seconds that will Change Your Life
Kenneth Hagin: Words
Joyce Meyer: Power Words: Words You Say Can Change Your Life

Journals: Manifest Journal – Write until your dreams come true


Ask Believe Receive, In that Order! Are You Doing it Right?

Matthew 21:22 “And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”

Ask. Believe. Receive.

So many people quote this scripture, say this phrase and even go as far as to say that they do this but yet, are seeing no results.

The more and more I study about faith, believing, and how the mind works, I am learning that people really don’t believe. Or they don’t believe like they say they do.

Ask Believe Receive

So many people Ask, don’t really Believe, but still expect to Receive!

I was listening to Oprah on a lifeclass yesterday and she said something very powerful (to me), “You don’t get what you want out of life, you get what you Believe!”  She said to take a look at your life and where you are right now, and then sit and check your beliefs that got you there.

Our minds are deeper than just surface. That’s why people mediate, quite their thoughts, and get in a quite place so they can actually hear and control their thoughts…because of the subconscious mind.

What is the Subconscious mind:

Think of the subconscious mind as the storage room of everything that is currently not in your conscious mind. The subconscious mind stores all of your previous life experiences, your beliefs, your memories, your skills, all situations you’ve been through and all images you’ve ever seen.

More often than not, we don’t get what we desire because we live in a state of wanting and resisting it. Which means we WANT something but we RESIST it because we really don’t believe we can get it.

For example: A single woman could really want a husband, boyfriend or a boo. She could tell all of her friends she wants one, dresses up and presents herself to the world as if she really wanted someone in her life. But then she resist the possibility of getting this potential someone special because in the back of mind, she really doesn’t believe SHE IS GOING TO GET A MAN!

On the outside she says: I want a man.

But on the inside she says:

  • I don’t really deserve a man!
  • I am never really going to get what I want!
  • I might have to settle! I’m not good enough anyway.
  • If he doesn’t come, I will be ok by myself!

Basically, wanting and resisting at the same time! Which means, you really don’t believe. Not fully!

Instead of wanting and resisting we should be:

  1. Writing it down (what we want)
  2. Visualizing it (seeing it for yourself)
  3. Letting it go (where BELIEF kicks in, and allow God to work)
  4. Putting your energy towards the direction of your desire (basically do the work while you wait for your beliefs to manifest)

What do you believe about yourself? Not what you think you believe on the surface, but go deep into the shadows of your mind and ask yourself. Are you really saying:

  • I’m not good enough.
  • I could never make this type of money!
  • I’m not smart enough.
  • I know I will never really succeed at this, so why try and on and on!

We don’t become or get what we want because so many times we live in the space of what we don’t have! Focus on what you really want and believe it will manifest.

A Mustard Seed

Matthew 17:20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Mustard see

Do you know how small a mustard seed is? SMALL! This scripture clearly tells us to have faith as a mustard seed, but the fact is most people don’t. I must admit, I didn’t. I thought I did until I started to really look inside myself.

I believed a little bit! I believed enough because I could kinda see the end result. That’s not faith! Faith is believing when there is NO SITE of your dream, desire or request in front of you. Faith is knowing it’s going to happen against all odds. Faith is basically, NO DOUBT! And for many, that’s hard – especially when we grow up hearing,

  • “Seeing is believing!”
  • “I will believe it when I see it!
  • “I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes!”

Let me wrap this up

Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Basically, you can’t skip a major step in the Ask. BELIEVE. Receive process. As I was driving home from work yesterday, I continue to say to myself “Do you really believe you can have what you want?” You have to check your faith. Your faith in God, faith in yourself and what you want out of life.

You must believe without a shadow of a doubt that you already have everything you want, you’re just waiting for it to show up. And in the meantime, you are doing the work!

So I ask you, do you believe? 


The IN-LAWS or The WIFE? (Question & Answer)


{This was a real email sent to me!}

Dear W.I.F.E (BernettaStyle)

Who should the husband listen to? His momma or his main lady? What should I think of a man that is always running to his parents for advice or whatever? Has your husband ever had to choose between his parents and you?

A wife with in-law issues!


Dear Wife with In-law issues,

Oooooh this is a good one. Just looking at the topic alone, I would automatically say choose “The WIFE”. I am not going to quote the bible right now, but you know it says “cleave and become one”. I believe once you say I do, then your spouse becomes a part of you and should be number 1. Not his mama or your mama (or the daddy’s), but your spouse. It may be hard to say, but choosing between a parent and a spouse shouldn’t be a question or an option.

It comes a point in the parents life, that they have to let go and let live. A good parent would not even try to come between their child and spouse, but speak when asked and let them deal with their own issues. And when I say speak when asked, I mean if she sees the couple having a slight argument in front of her – she shouldn’t just bud in and give her two cents saying, “What I would do baby is this ….”

Speaking from a WIFES perspective, I have an o-k relationship with my in-laws. I would love love love for it to be better. I think it was on it’s way to being great but they moved to another state 1 month before we said, “I do.” So now we actually see them a few times a year. And when we do, we get along just fine but it’s not all lovey dovey. I will say this about his parents, they do not get involved with our problems. His mother and father are still married and they are respectful to our marriage. She helps when I ask (if I ask and that is few and far in between). I never see my husband running to his mother about me or our problems.

I will say this – at times he did call them, we agreed on calling them before he made the call. And if we ever call – for us, it’s a question about the kids, food, house stuff…. NEVER ABOUT OUR PERSONAL ARGUMENTS (again, unless we agree together to call them). And honestly, his mother has taken my sides quite a few times! But if it’s an issue where your husband is always calling his mother, always…. ask him WHY? If my husband was always calling his mother (besides the regular check up and I love you calls) to ask advice and talking about US (you know what I mean), I would wonder what he really thinks of me, or us!

Why can’t we (meaning you all) just work it out? Why bring the parents into it? As for my mother, she hardly knows anything personal that goes on in here! If she knows it, it’s because she was over here when we were talking about it! But you have to know my mom to know why! Hope this helps, and I hope some WIFES chime in. God’s Favor.

What do you (as readers) think about this? 
Wordless Wednesday

Wordy Wednesday – Dreamsicle (Mine & Yours)

Hello today! I don’t want to talk your ear off today (it’s supposed to be wordless, remember), but I am going through some emotional things. One main thing is how to, if I should, can I actually make my dream(s) a reality. Over the course of my life, my dreams have evolved but still have a core desire to motivate, inform and inspire. I was told was I doing these things when I didn’t even know it.

I am currently reading this book One Month To Live (30 days to a No-Regrets life) and the picture below is from the Chapter Dreamsicle Thawing Out Your Frozen Dreams. I underlined the words below because some months back I was just so sad I told my husband, “I am going to STOP DREAMING! I am just going to live this life, raise these kids and that be that!” My husband went into a frenzy, “Nooo! You can’t stop dreaming! You of all people can’t stop dreaming!” Deep inside I knew I probably wouldn’t stop but I was sad in the moment.


This past Sunday my Bishop pulled me out and told me God said, “Don’t stop Dreaming!” He said some more things but that is for another blog post. Then on Monday, I texted my Bishop and told him that his word really pierced my heart because there is an idea/dream/desire I have for a non-profit that is meant to change the lives of those around me but I decided to not go after it because IT WAS JUST TO BIG OF AN IDEA. I COULDN’T DO IT WITH MY OWN POWER. I decided to go for it after all. Then today – I read this.

If a dream is from God, it will be so big in your life that you can’t do it on your own!

This chapter just made me sit back and shake my head. Am I being told to GO FOR IT. I can say that I am so passionate about my idea that I am willing to make it my life work. I am going to step out and activate my faith and watch God work.

What about you? Is there a Dream/Desire/Passion that you put off because it was Bigger than YOU? Or are you already leaped that hurdle and living the dream? Do tell!