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prayer

Motherhood W.I.F.E

7 Huge Takeaways My Children Shared After Watching War Room

War Room came on the scene and blew everyone away. Period.

This movie is a marriage, relationship & personal prayer life game changer. Or least it can be if you are open to it.

I honestly can’t see how you can come away from watching War Room and not be moved, not even a little bit. The night we first saw the movie, my grandmother watched our children so we call ourselves doing a date night.

What was supposed to be a lovey dovey night, ended up being an all night discussion (after the movie) as we dealt with some things in our marriage that we both can do better with.

I honestly didn’t think my children would want to see this movie, and it never crossed my mind to let them watch it (at least not now). Well, last Saturday evening, my husband told our children he wanted them to see something.

When he said, War Room, my daughter got excited! I’m honestly not sure why, but she loves watching movies as a family, so that could have been why she was happy.

My son immediately let out a grimm whine, “Mommmm! I don’t want to see War Room! I heard it isn’t that good!” Now, I am really intrigued at his response. I asked,  “Who could have possibly told you that? Your other 10 year old friends?”

The funniest thing was, during the movie my son was the main one talking during every scene; laughing, giving his thoughts, and even crying on certain parts. Yes, my 10 year old son cries when he’s sad during movies.

He’s sensitive.

He ran over to hug me at least twice during the movie.

Needless to say, they both enjoyed War Room and even shared with me their 7 Takeaways:

Son (10 years old):

  1. Always Pray – No matter what, prayer can change things.
  2. Don’t fight against your prayers – If you pray for it, believe it will happen. Don’t ask for something and do the opposite because you really do not believe it.
  3. Love your husband – In the beginning, my son did not like the “husband” in the movie because he was a jerk to his wife and daughter. However, the shift that he made in his life and behavior, brought my son to tears.
  4. Let God takeover – When you give God control, anything is possible.

Daughter (8 years old):

  1. Always listen to your heart – listen to the small voice in your head.
  2. Never cheat on a girl – you have to see the movie to get this statement.
  3. Never say that your parents do not love you – the little girl in this movie was so powerful. Not only do you want to be a better spouse, but a better parent!

I love hearing their perspective on certain things. Not only did they enjoy the movie, my daughter watched it again tonight (her choice).

War Room

From a parents perspective, War Room helped reinforce to me that our children are paying attention to us all.the.time. They also feel when we aren’t giving them our all.

Lately, my daughter has been all up under me. Hugging me more, kissing my cheeks, or just coming in the room to stand near me. It took me a while to realize, she doesn’t want anything (like a toy), but just more time with Mommy.

She really just wants more of my attention.

I’ve started stopping what I’m doing and just hugging her. Talking with her, making sure she is good. I’ll make a joke and her smile will light up the room.

I feel like I am going off on a tangent, but honestly War Room can make you look at many different areas of your life. Just like a good book, the more you read it – the more lessons you get from it.

What is War Room?

With great jobs, a beautiful daughter (Alena Pitts) and a dream house, the Jordans seem to have it all. Appearances can be deceiving, however, as husband Tony (T.C. Stallings) flirts with temptation and wife Elizabeth (Priscilla Shirer) becomes increasingly bitter, crumbling under the strain of a failing marriage. Their lives take an unexpected turn for the better when Elizabeth meets her newest client, Miss Clara (Karen Abercrombie), who encourages the couple to find happiness through prayer.

This movie grossed $68 Million world wide! 

Also, neither one of my children could tell me what a War Room was at the end of the movie, although I did make sure I fully explained it.

Have you seen War Room? What was a major take away for you in terms of Parenting? Marriage? Do you have a War Room? Would you let your children watch it?

Motherhood

Letters to Our Children: My 10 Prayers for Bailee

Dear Bailee,

I always wanted a daughter. If I’m honest, I only wanted a daughter.

The day I found out I was having a girl, was one the best days ever. I immediately went into baby girl planning & mode:

  • What am I going to name her?
  • What will she look like?
  • Can I make her room pretty?
  • Will she act like me or her dad?
  • I want to show her all these things!
  • OMG, she needs to get to experience XYZ!

You’re going to be 8 years old in 2 weeks and I am still so overjoyed you are in my life.

You have qualities I wish I had as a 30 something. You are so full of life and I always want to make sure that light in your eyes never dims.

As I struggle with certain things in adulthood, my prayer is that I can somehow shield you from it. I want to teach you step by step when the time is right what to do, so you like can be everything you want it to be.

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Bailee, I pray for you daily:

  • I pray you find lasting love. I pray you find & marry soul mate.
  • I pray you will take all the good, bad & ugly from us (your parents) and rock parenthood out!
  • I pray you have life long girlfriends that are like sisters.
  • I pray that you and your brothers remain close forever.
  • I pray you get everything you ever wanted in life and more.
  • I pray you always find a reason to smile.
  • I pray you never settle for less than you deserve and you have a fighting spirit.
  • I pray you will always stand up for yourself and never be intimated.
  • I pray you will always be honest even when the truth hurts.
  • I pray you PRAY always and that your relationship with GOD remains a top priority.

As I write this, I smile at how many people know your name. I smile when people walk up to me, “OMG are you Bailee’s mom? She is something else! We just love Bailee!”

I always respond, “I know, I love her too!”

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Your genuine good spirit draws people in. You love to give from your heart and I pray that never changes.

I love you Bailee and I am so thankful God gave me you. I am in charge of raising you up, but you are in charge of making me a better person, woman and mother in the process!

– Mommy loves you!

Last month I wrote a letter to my sons, I’m participating in the “Letters to our Children” circle, inspired by LaShawn (Everyday Eyecandy), so click & read Joyce’s letter (Mommy Talk Show) and continue to enjoy.

W.I.F.E

12 Uncompromising Marriage Lessons We’re Revealing on Our 12th Anniversary

It’s honestly amazing to me that I’ve been married for 12 years. I’m grateful that we’ve made it this far and for the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

I remember when I was dating my husband, I was so into him and the possibility of getting married. When we got engaged, I knew our marriage would be great and I wanted that goose bump feeling to always be there.

Something that bothered me, were other married couples that had been married for years. They made snide comments of how it won’t always be like that, and just really seemed like each other’s ball and chain. I wondered why so many married couples seemed unhappy the longer they were together and actually willing to “speak into my relationship” that the same thing would happen to me.

I got mad!

I told my [then] fiancé, “That can’t happen to us!” “We can’t get bitter! We have to do what we must in order not to be negative and just unhappy!”

Oooooooohhhhh but then I got married!!! 

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I won’t say I quickly learned what these married people were now referring to, but over the course of 12 years with my spouse I have experienced every range of emotions that a relationship can bring.

It’s amazing because we are still here. We’re still fighting, pressing, working, learning and growing in our relationship. We’re doing it together with the intention to always be on one accord.

Here are 12 lessons we’ve learned over our 12 year marriage, feel free to add your own in the comments:

1. intimacy | takes the marriage to another level in my opinion. It allows you to connect with your spouse on a level that can spill over into other aspects of your relationship. It’s something that can fade if you allow the day to day life issues to get in the way.

There are times when one wants intimacy but the other person can care less. Sometimes it’s important to fight through it. Your spouse wants to know they matter and are desired.

2. sacrifice | who would have known how many things you would have to give up or give in to, when it comes to marriage and parenting. When you’re married, it’s not 100% about you, but the family.

Whether you have children or not – you’re a family and your decisions now affect all parties involved.

3. forgiveness | this is must-do in marriage. In my marriage, I’ve forgiven him and I’ve needed to be forgiven on more than one occasion. No one is perfect, so when you make mistakes and your spouse loves you enough to accept your, “I’m sorry!” is worth it’s weight in gold.

I’m grateful for all the times my husband has forgiven me for the big and small things. His forgiveness has allowed me to grow and actually take a good look at myself.

4. power of agreement | Two is better than one. When a couple is on one accord, it puts you on the path to achieve common goals. It also brings clarity for the direction and vision of the family.

5. love | this is tricky because being in love with your spouse sometimes seems to come and go. After speaking with other married individuals it’s more common than  not. We love our spouse but sometimes the goose bumps do leave but they do come back if you’re open to working on your relationship.

6. patience |  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to take a deep breathe and hold my tongue. I’ve learned to wait because everything doesn’t always happen when I want it.

7. growth | I’m not the same person I was when I got married. I’ve grown as a woman, into a mother and in even as a wife. Life is a process and a journey, and it’s constantly changing. I recognize my growth and even welcome it. What helps is a spouse that sees my growth, then participates & supports my growth versus hoping I stay the same.

8. prayer | See War Room! We believe in prayer. We’ve seen first hand how prayer works in our lives and changes certain situations. I’ve prayed for my husband when I didn’t want to. He’s prayed for me when I didn’t know it. It strengthens our relationship with God and each other.

9. balance | It’s important to know when to spend time with family versus working too much. Over the course of 12 years, our children are growing and careers are changing. It’s a constant thing to re-evaluate where we are in our relationship & household management to make sure the family is operating correctly.

10. communication | You have to talk. Period. Whether you need to read books, take a class or see a therapist to get it right… do it! A marriage works well when you two can talk about what you desire, dealing with, do not want, personal and family goals.

Over the years we have just recently learned how to talk to each other without placing blame. We choose our words carefully and make sure not to tear each other down.

11. fun | find things to do or incorporate things in your relationship that make you laugh and allow you to enjoy each other. With three kids, we laugh daily at the things they do but we also find time to laugh and joke when we are alone.

12. compromise | it’s simply give and take. I’ve learned that in marriage you personally may not always get 100% of what you want, but neither is the other person. So when you compromise, you are willing to make your spouse happy because you know eventually, they will do the same for you.

BONUS

If you are a business owner, it would be in your best interest to always know the current trends of your market. If you work in Corporate America, your probably get leadership training that will help you grow in your career climb.

It’s no different with marriage. Being married 12 years, I can surely see why those couples appeared unhappy. Life sets in and can get the best of you – if you let it. I’ve learned that Marriage, like a career or business, needs to be nurtured and tended too.

We take day dates, read books on marriage, watch videos on relationships and attend conferences. You get out of your relationship what you put in. If you just say, “I do” and let the chips fall where they may … guest what, they will!

You control the destiny of your marriage. If you want to make it great, do it! Work on it.

Simple.

What things would you add to this list? I really want to know. 

What are we currently reading? Marriage Matters by Tony Evans41XtrsORgkL._SX348_BO1,204,203,200_