When Neck Pain Leads to a Mindset Shift

For the last 7 days I’ve experienced pain equivalent to a c-section recovery. However, it was in my neck. I am not exaggerating, it was painful. 

Last week on Tuesday afternoon, I went on a job interview. It went very well. So well that I had a feeling they would offer me the position. Although I wanted the job, I was nervous about what would happen or how my life (as I know it now) would change. I couldn’t sleep at all. I tossed and turned all night. When I finally woke up, my neck was sore.

I had a crook in my neck. 

All day Wednesday, I just dealt with it. I’ve had them before and expected it to pass by the end of the day. However, instead of getting better it got worse. Alot worse. 

Wednesday night, I couldn’t sleep because the pain in my neck would not let me get in a comfortable position. That had never happened before. Thursday morning, I woke up to an even stiffer neck. After a meeting at my son’s school, I came home could NOT MOVE MY NECK. 

My range of motion was literally zero, left to right. I could not lift my head either. If I tried to do any of these motions, it was extreme pain. I was scared and started to cry. I was afraid. Why can’t I move my neck at all. What did I do? I wasn’t in an accident or hit my head. Could a bad nights sleep really do all of this?

We went to the hospital. After doing a round of test on me to make sure I didn’t have meningitis, a stroke or spine issues, they told me it was just a bad nights sleep & a lot of stress. 

Women tend to carry their stress in their neck and shoulders. Men, carry there’s in their lower back.

I was stressed:

• I might be getting a new job that will change things.
• I am planning a vision board party with my daughter.
• I need to update the website for my daughters business.
• I have dreams I need to read for The Knighten Project.
• I have blog post to write and plan to post.
• I have a new book out that I need to promote. 
• My kids are in sports and competitive sports take up so much of our life.
• I’m married. (Ladies you get it)
• Did I mention, I might be starting a new job. 

Yeah, I was stressed. 

They gave me a pain killer shot. He worded it as, “Advil times 4!” and prescribed muscle relaxers. The first few days after the hospital visit, I was still in alot of pain. Some things I had to do, I just suffered it to be so. I took a Motrin and smiled through it.

We even took holiday photos this weekend. I look so stiff. 

Tuesday morning, I had a professional massage and Oh.My.Goodness … it was the best thing I could have did for myself. I immediately felt better. I have better range of motion and much less pain. This is first day that I haven’t taken any medicine. 

Over the past 7 days, I didn’t do much work on the computer but I had alot of time to think. Here are a few lessons that came to me:

Let go of somethings. Sometimes I wonder why God gave me so many ideas and why I feel the need to act on them all at the same time. Something has to give. During my down time, I saw that in order for me to continue to grow in certain areas I am going to have to release somethings (at least for a while). 

I need help. I’ve been doing so many things for so many years by myself. My take away lesson for myself is, just because you have an idea doesn’t mean you personally have all of the tools to execute it best. I’m grateful for the things I’ve created over the years, but I honestly believe I could be farther along if I would have hired help a long time ago. I need an assistant. I want more writers. I would love a business manager & a speakers agent. Yes. I need to hire help. Who will I hire first, is the question.

Use what you already know. My husband calls me the queen of conferences. He means I like to go to conferences, take classes, read books and just learn new things. He follows up with, “Now apply all you have learned.” If I don’t go to another conference in 2018, but apply everything I’ve learned over the past few years I could see a change in my endeavors. 

Do what you really want to do. There is one of my projects that I hold dear to my heart but I do everything but that. I let things of lesser value take the lead. Why? I need to figure that out. Am I afraid of success in that area? Am I afraid I will fail big time? Why am I not giving my all to my passion project? What if I donate my 2018 to this? How different would things be in December 2018? Hmmmmmm. We shall see. 

Sometimes I want to disappear. I’ve been blogging a looooong time. While I still love blogging and everything that comes with it, the older I’ve gotten the less I want to share personal things online. The less I care about posting a picture of me, my children, where I am, what I’m doing, look at me here, look at me there. I want more privacy. It seems that’s what rare these days. I think its age. Sometimes, I actually want to just take a social media break. 

As I type this, my neck is 90% better. I am so grateful. During this experience, I had so much pain, but also so much revelation. There is definitely a change coming. I need to stop worrying about the things I really can’t control. Stress is not good for our bodies and could affect it in multiple ways. 

Sometimes you have to get really still to get really clear. If you don’t stop on your own, God can make you stop and be still. I’d prefer to get the lesson the first time around. 

Also, did I get the job? 

Yes. Yes I did. (They called the next day actually)

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