Bailee: “Mommy, when can I wear weave?”
Me: “When you go to college!”
Bailee: “Well, when can I get my hair straighten?”
Me: “Omg Bailee! Whyyyyyyy! Why do you want to mess with those curls?”
My daughter has asked me these two questions a few times. The weave question just happened a few days ago. I was caught off guard, and that’s why she got that quick response.
When I think about her questions regarding hair & make-up (yes she wants to wear it), I really have to look at myself. I question what I’m doing in front of her.
My daughter watches TV shows with girls doing girl things; hair, fashion, boys, etc. But more importantly, my daughter watches me. She sees me everyday at my best and worst. She asked me the hard questions:
- Why are you putting on make up mommy?
- Why are you adding crochet to your hair?
- Why do you have on that “body shaper”? (I’m being transparent here)
- Why can’t I do it? (This is the hardest one to answer)
When she asked me to do it as well, of course my response is no – but the hardest thing is explaining why. I tell her that she is beautiful the way she is and that she doesn’t need a lick of makeup. I tell her that people all over the world wish they had thick curls like hers.
She has a questionable smirk on her face and then skips out the door, but I can’t help but wonder is she thinking, “Mommy are you not beautiful the way you are? Do people all over the world not desire your hair? Why are you adding all these things to appear better than what you already are?”
It cuts me deep.
The interesting thing is, I just started wearing makeup more within the last 2 years. And although I don’t wear it daily, it has become more of a routine. Even though my husband understands why I want to wear a little bit here and there, he still tells me “I’m cool with just a bit a gloss!” He like my lips popping and always tells me I don’t need anything else.
As for hair, I like to change it up with different styles, which has nothing to do with not loving my hair. However, my daughter may perceive it as something different. She may view it as I don’t like what I have, so I am going to change it.
Recently, I cut my hair off to start fresh and I wore less crochet (weave) styles. I’ve started experimenting with my short hair and including Bailee in the process with asking her thoughts on the results and letting her play in my hair.
As a young girl, I don’t want her only looking forward to the day she can change her look but love the skin she’s in & the hair she has right now.
3 Ways I Teach My Daughter to Love Her Natural Beauty:
- Reinforce Her Beauty | We (her father & I) tell her daily how beautiful she is, just the way she is.
- Support Her Decisions| We make it a point to ask her what she wants (clothes, hair style for the day, activities) and we listen to her WHY. Unless it’s not to her benefit to do these things, we support her decisions.
- Show Her Positive Images | Although she sees many different forms of beauty, I make it point to show her other beautiful little girls who look like her on a regular basis. Sometimes, I don’t even comment but just allow her to see the girls. She will then say, “OMG Mommy! She’s so pretty!” I respond with, “I know, she looks like you!”
Girls & Curls
Unfortunately, only 4 out of 10 girls love their curls, according to Dove Hair. The best way to change their perception is to show them how you feel about yours.
Dove Hair started the #LoveYourCurls Campaign, to help women and girls embrace and love their curls by ensuring they see accurate reflections of their hair in their everyday lives.
They’ve created Curly Hair Emojis & when you tweet the #LoveYourCurls hashtag a curly hair emoji will appear. You can download these to your phone as well.
My daughter has a phone that she plays games on and recently started texting her bff and I. She actually uses tons of smiley faces to tell me she loves me! Now she can use emojis that represent curly girls!
I’ve learned that 67% of all women and girls agree that emojis let them express what they want to say better than words. Girls are growing up in a world of technology, but 3 in 5 women say they cannot accurately depict how they look using emojis.
Kudos to Dove Hair on recognizing this need and representing for curly girls everywhere.
I will continue to show my daughter curly images and reinforce her beauty. Her self-confidence in what God has blessed her with is very important. Before she starts changing her appearance for variety, she needs to learn to love what she has first.
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Dove. The opinions and text are all mine.