Ask Bernetta

5 Levels of Facebook Friends & Why You Should Keep Some Business to Yourself

Have you ever been scrolling down your Facebook timeline and saw someone’s status that made you stop and just shake your head? You wonder, “Ummm did they mean to post this? Do they really want me to see this?”

Some people put all their business online; the good and bad.

Of course many will argue, it’s your Facebook and you can post/share what you desire. I argue that everything you desire to share with all 1000 of your Facebook friends (and the world if your page is public) should sometimes be censored or seriously considered before you hit…POST.

There’s Levels to this …

I’ve learned there are five levels of Facebook friends and you need to determine how many you have on each level. Each level is NOT a must have and after reading this, you might want to scale back on your friend list.

I have one over 1000 friends on Facebook (and believe me, I’m about to delete quite a few), and I can count on both hands, how many of those friends I talk to on the phone or see on a regular basis.

1. Bottom Level Friends:

The first is the bottom level. They are the friends that never ever like a picture or comment. You’re just friends on Facebook. You never even see them in public and they probably live in another state. You most likely went to school with them, or met them from some from a social event and decided to “friend” them.

2. Questionable Level Friends:

This second from the bottom level are the friends that may like or comment on a picture here and there with a “Cute” or “Nice!”, but you never see them in person and your interaction doesn’t go past Facebook. You might even see them out in the street and they don’t even speak.

3. Associate Level Friends

You probably don’t see them often but you have some kind of surface level relationship where you two comment on each other’s things and show some type of semi support. You have dialogue and engagement with them, but that’s really the extent of it.

4. Friends but Not Friends Level:

This level are for the friends that you do know well and you have a relationship outside of Facebook, so you’re comfortable sharing things with them. You know each other’s family and some of their personal business. You’re comfortable going on their page and leaving genuine comments.

You see each other more often outside of social media at parties, girls night out, dinner dates, kids birthday parties and everything else. These friends are the ones that say, ” I’m praying for you and I hope everything is well!” and mean it.  They do care about your well being and vice versa.

5. Your Real Core Friends

The final level of friends are your best friends. Your real core group! These are the people that are your true friends outside of Facebook, meaning they know the real you or know most of your business. Ya know, the stuff that you don’t want to tell anybody or don’t share on Facebook.

These are the people who really support you when you put up those crazy statuses online. They are actually calling you or texting you, “What’s going on?” “How can I help?

Question, “Would You?”

Facebook is social media. What does SOCIAL mean? When you go to a party and you’re told to BE SOCIAL, how do you act? You mingle, you make small talk, laugh and enjoy the atmosphere.

If you were at a party with 1000 of your Facebook friends; you wouldn’t get on the mic and share your deepest secret, curse someone out or tell them what you’re going through. You would save that for your core friends! So why in the hell would you tell the same 1000 people those things on Facebook.


Stop It!

You have to stop thinking that everybody wants to know your business on Facebook or  that everybody even cares about your business. People go on Facebook to BE NOSY, see what’s new, what’s going on in the world, what people are doing different and they don’t necessarily care about what’s hurting you.

A long time ago, I stopped accepting Facebook friends that I didn’t personally know. Facebook is much more personal than Twitter and people tend to share more intimate moments.  So it’s something to consider before you just accept new “friends” or share something “so personal”.

All business is not everybody’s business. Simple.

Be careful what you share before you hit publish, because although you can always go back and delete – once someone sees it, sometimes it’s too late.

Facebook has ways to create secret groups just for those core people. I’m apart of many groups designed just for that purpose. We can still communicate on a social outlet that we enjoy without sharing our very personal stories to the world.

Do you share every moment of your life online? 



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  • Kendra
    September 5, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Great post and I totally agree. I used to be very tight with info on Facebook and my test was would I have you to my house for dinner. Now, I’m on a different setting but still very aware of what I share.

  • Kita Bryant
    September 5, 2015 at 11:45 am

    I got about 88 friends on FB. I would say 80% I know personally and speak to on a daily basis meaning they don’t just like a picture they actually engage and speak. I keep that number low because I don’t want anyone on my FB page in my business if we don’t speak. I also have people on restriction until I get to know them better. I am not a fan of bloggers trying to befriend me when we don’t even speak. I go through my FB once a month and get rid of those that just don’t gel well with me or their TL isn’t my cup of tea. FB isn’t the place to air out dirty laundry keep that between you and your closest friends