Motherhood Monday

My Daughter Doesn’t Like Dresses Anymore!


Setting: It’s Sunday morning and I am heading towards her room to pick out a pretty dress for church and I hear her feet running behind me.

Daughter: “Mommy, can I pick out my clothes?”

Me: “What is it?” She then proceeds to pull out this short set that is not appropriate for church but actually to run around the neighborhood. I then pick out a pretty dress.

Daughter: “Mommy, I don’t like dresses anymore. They are just not my thing!”

Me: “What! What do you mean, they are not your thing? So do you want to dress like your brother now?” I know, I immediately overreacted!

Daughter: “What? Nooo Mommy! I just don’t like dresses anymore. I like shorts!”

This conversation went on for a few minutes and it ended up with her in tears about wearing a dress and me yelling, “You better put on this dress!” My husband eventually came in and told her how pretty she looked in dresses and she calmed down and put it on. Actually, she brought it up the following Sunday, but I let her pick out her outfit and it was a cute shirt/skirt set. She was very happy!

Honestly, when she said it wasn’t her thing anymore – my mind went different places. After I sat and thought about it, it has nothing to do with her not wanting to be feminine anymore. It had to do with freedom. My daughter has two brothers (one older & one younger). She likes to wrestle, ride her bike and just be a kid which means she is all over the place. When she has on a dress, I am always saying, “Close your legs, pull your dress down, sit down, be still, STOP, act like a little lady, we don’t do that in a dress!” These are things I never have to say when she is in pants or shorts or to her brother.

I think she finally gets that wearing a dress restricts her from being, “Free!” Right now she wants to be free to be wild and I get that. So, if it’s not her thing now, I understand and won’t press the issue to make it her thing. I will give her more creative freedom and also the option to take a change of clothes with us but honestly… she will not be wearing play clothes to church! Simple as that!

Has your child ever wanted to stop doing something that caught you off guard? How did you respond? 

Update: 11/24 She is back to wearing dresses! She was actually back a few weeks later. I let her pick out her outfits and she started grabbing dresses again. I think the day she told me she didn’t want to wear them anymore, was simply because didn’t want to wear one on that day. Or she didn’t like what I selected and it was easier for her to say, “I don’t want to do that anymore!”

I notice my children do that more and more when they don’t want something for the moment, they will just say they don’t like it at all. That’s until I say, “Oh! Ok, you don’t like fries anymore, I will never make you fries again!” Then I get, “Nooooo Mommy! I was just playing! I just don’t want any today!”

That’s all you had to say. But, their children and they are learning as they go. I guess, I am learning too. #Parenting #life #children!



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  • Renae
    July 7, 2014 at 11:58 am

    Yes, I so relate to this. I have 2 daughters and my oldest (11) doesn’t like to wear dresses or skirts for that matter. She started not liking them about 2 years ago, I have to make her wear them to church. She’s still likes girly “things” but for some odd reason she isn’t into dresses or skirts, I just learned to let it go, not that big of a deal for us. Besides, I still have another daughter who loves dresses and skirts so I get to do the whole dress up thing on her-ha!

    • Bernetta
      July 7, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      Thanks for understanding Renae!!

  • Suzanne
    July 7, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    I struggled with this a bit with my stepdaughter. But it really highlighted that I was raised with a 1950s/60s mentality of what ‘ladies’ do and wear. The women who didn’t act like ‘ladies’ are the one who won us the right to vote, among many other achievements. And we’re not raising a robot in this house, but an independent young woman who owns herself. Now, I let her be her (as long as it’s age- and event-appropriate).

    • Bernetta
      July 7, 2014 at 12:08 pm

      Exactly age and event appropriate! I like the way you but that!

  • kita
    July 7, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    I hated dresses when I was younger and don’t like them now that I am older. What my mom did to compromise with me was to let me wear shorts under my dresses that way after church I could climb trees and do what I wanted without everything showing. I have not worn a dress since I got married in 2005.

  • Mia
    July 7, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    I can definitely relate to that being raised by my father with having 2 brothers. I grew up as a tomboy because that was pretty much all I knew. I understand her feeling of being restricted to do things. That is definitely normal feeling when growing up with male siblings.

  • Precious
    July 8, 2014 at 4:01 am

    Awwww, she’s growing up B! I remember telling my mom that as a teenager! I told her that I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to get a job because I want to wear pants suits! When I sang in the choir, she use to have people tapping me so I can look at her as she bucked her eyes from the congregation and said “Close your legs!” Of course I did rolling my eyes to the side and when I got my first job, Yay pants suits! I wear dresses but prefer pants!

  • Tori | Glasses and Glitter
    July 9, 2014 at 10:15 am

    So yeah, I went through one of those phases. From 5th to 10th grade I was a tomboy. I wore my uncles clothes and errthang. After that, all bets were off! lol Maybe she will grow out of it, and if she doesn’t I’m sure she’ll still be your boo! lol

  • Katherine G from La La Land Mommy
    July 9, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    My daughter is the exact same way. Willi actually she is completely anti dress. She well wear I’ve on occasion at the request of her dad and I. But she still likes to be girly in skirts and a shorts. She told us she just likes to be comfortable.