Ask Bernetta Uncategorized W.I.F.E

My Fiancé Changed, Help! : W.I.F.E {Video Response}

Ask Bernetta!

I have been with my Fiancé for over a year now and in the last couple months things have gone bad….he’s always calling me fat and lazy even though all he does is sleep all day and I’m the one that works. I take care of him completely.  I do his laundry. I cook, I clean, I work, I take care of his military stuff and I do all his school work for college. He is waited on hand and foot. Yet he still is always comparing me to his ex-wife saying how much better she was then me. The sex is gone he says I’m to fat even though I’m 5 ft 3 and only weigh 163. Everything is always about him and it seems like he’s never happy anymore. After he got out of the military we moved where he wanted to…which is 2300 miles from anyone I know and all my family…I’ve tried everything to make him happy I even talked with his ex to see what was so good about her but at this point I’m at a loss of things I can do. I just get yelled at for everything. Any suggestions? Click continue reading below to view my response video. 

ask bernetta-fiance-

My thoughts are in this video! It was too much to type, but I was able to make it quick 8 minute video! She welcomes your thoughts as well, so please comment! You can skip to minute 1:53 to bypass me reading the letter.

One thing that I didn’t mention in the video because I actually thought about later was the fact she has only been with him one year. Many times it takes a year to get to know someone for REAL! People are usually on their best behavior in the beginning and in time the real McCoy usually shows up. Maybe the real him finally showed up. Maybe not.

What do you think? Should she leave him? Stay? Get Help? Is it worth it? 

I still get letters (emails) from readers about certain relationship situations. Although I am not an expert, I appreciate the fact they just want my opinion on the matter. I always ask is it ok to post the question before I post it. This reader also welcome your thoughts on her situation as well, so please comment.  Email your questions to [email protected]



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  • Nikki Griffin
    December 30, 2013 at 1:47 am

    As an ex military spouse I can tell her this sounds like some side effects of his separation but do not take this on as your job to fix this. You are taught as a wife to help your soldier through so much but if she is treated like this before the wedding, she is starting down the road of verbal and maybe physical abuse. He doesn’t appreciate her and that alone is a problem. Add on the verbal abuse and comparing to his ex and you have heart break. It’s not your job too fix him or get him help. If you are not ready to leave…at least make provisions for yourself and start to find you. Nothing you do will please him until he gets help on his own so make you happy. I wish you luck and Good Bless. Remember what Bernetta said…love should not hurt like this.

    • Bernetta
      December 30, 2013 at 3:57 am

      Thanks so much Nikki for your response!! Great points!