W.I.F.E {Why Isn’t Forever Easy}
Marriage itself has it’s pros and cons, its good, its bads, its ups and downs. And every marriage is different. Just like you shouldn’t compare yourself to another person (in most cases), you shouldn’t compare your marriage. So today, I wanted to talk about the GOOD and the BAD of Marriage in your oppinion. Or the GOOD and BAD of your Marriage. Your choice. My only request is that if you write about the GOOD, you must write about the BAD.
Good: As for my marriage or marriage period, I like the commitment aspect. I like the fact that if you love someone and they love you that you agree to come together and create a family, a lifestyle, have common goals and work towards them, grow and enjoy life together. I like the family aspect. I personally knew who my father was/is, but he didn’t father me. I even had a stepdad in the house for at least 10 years, but he didn’t father me either. He was just there physically. I always knew something wasn’t right about that and knew I didn’t want that for my future. My husband is a great father and very involved in every aspect of our children’s lives. I like the fact that we are a team when it comes to our children. I like the safe feeling my husband gives me. Not the fact that he takes care of me kind of safety but the fact that he is just here feeling. When he’s home, it’s like awwww daddy’s home. When he’s not, I hear every crack in the floor! I personally like the fact that my husband pays the bills! Yep, he sure does. And he pays them on time. He started paying the bills when I was pregnant with our first child b/c he didn’t want me to stress out and afterward just kept doing it. I love always having someone to talk to, bounce ideas off of, and living with the person you should trust the most. And of course as far as intimacy without getting to graphic, I like being with one person you trust PERIOD! It’s crazy out there, sometimes I feel for singles who have to get condoms, get sexual history, go get tested and still don’t really know …. all before you have sex!
BAD: Sacrifices! Both parties make sacrifices BUT to me… women make more sacrifices. A woman takes care of her husband, the children and the house. When is it time for her dreams outside of the home? Can she have dreams outside of the home? When do they fit in? I mean TO ME, back in the day alot of women just wanted to do what I just stated above. But growing up as a child, I never thought about it from a parent perspective. I was just dreaming and working towards my goal. I knew one day I wanted a husband and children but I also wanted a career and to do great things outside of the mother-wife role. I didn’t realize until I got married that as the WIFE that I would have to slow my roll! Another thing that I personally don’t like that as a WIFE it seems like I am asking permission to do something from my husband versus just letting him know. I mean I am a grown a** woman! LOL! But still, that’s the way it seems. I don’t like the fact that as a WIFE you always have to watch what you say in reference to the MIGHTY MALE EGO! You always have to pump that EGO! WTW!! Make them feel good. Blah blah blah! Shoot! PUMP ME UP! Who is feeding my EGO! “I walk like this ’cause I can back it uuuup!” (~beyonce) I have more to say but I will let you all talk.
Go ahead 😉
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Bernetta is the creator and primary content creator for BernettaStyle.com. This website was created to motivate women to live simple, smart, and inspired lives through stories of motherhood, wife life, and so much more. Bernetta is a lovely wife and mother. She enjoys reading, staying active and trying new things.
kita
October 23, 2012 at 1:09 pmWhaaaaaa I have to watch what I say….I have not learned that yet. That’s probably one reason I am not a good wife and after 7 years of marriage you would think I would learn. Marriage is not easy as some people make it seem it’s work a lot of hard work and knowing that’s it not about you anymore.
Rochelle
October 23, 2012 at 1:55 pmGood: I like having someone there who knows me. The real me. Not the fake voice work me or the being brave in front of friends me. I love the bond we share. The whole world could crumble and that wuold be just fine because our family bond is tight. I love that he takes care of the bills (I suck with money management) and keeps us safe. I love that he worships the ground I walk on and holds me in such high regard.
BAD: I’m tired. Yes he manages the bills and takes out the trash. BUT…I go to work, cook, clean, mother our child and “spruce” up our home. I’m physically and mentally tired a lot. I feel like I always cater to him and I’m an after thought. I don’t like having to be accounted for all the time…where is mommy? when you coming home? I feel like my dreams and goals have to fit into a super small section of my life after wife and mommy.
The good SUPER out weighs the bad though.
Mia
October 23, 2012 at 4:47 pmGreat topic.
GOOD: I love that we work together pretty well on things. We have an understanding. I love the fact that we are friends and can kick it. I love that we both love to have fun and have similar interests in that respect. I love that we are playful with each other.
BAD: Like Rochelle, I’m tired. I cook, clean, work (and work OT) and cater. When he wants to hang out all weekend, I want R&R. I have to ask for a foot or back massage when needed. When I’m telling him about my day, I have to ask if he is listening because gets so enthralled in his computer that I get no response. I don’t like that we share the responsibilities of paying the bills. While I’m responsible to get them paid on time, he lags and since he is the bread winner, I need him. Which starts the arguments.
UGLY: We argue a lot and it’s probably because we are both stubborn and head strong. Compromise is hard because we have a hard time meeting halfway and always ends in “Whatever you want…” (sarcastically)
Mia
October 23, 2012 at 4:48 pmGreat topic.
GOOD: I love that we work together pretty well on things. We have an understanding. I love the fact that we are friends and can kick it. I love that we both love to have fun and have similar interests in that respect. I love that we are playful with each other.
BAD: Like Rochelle, I’m tired. I cook, clean, work (and work OT) and cater. When he wants to hang out all weekend, I want R&R. I have to ask for a foot or back massage when needed. When I’m telling him about my day, I have to ask if he is listening because gets so enthralled in his computer that I get no response. I don’t like that we share the responsibilities of paying the bills. While I’m responsible to get them paid on time, he lags and since he is the bread winner, I need him. Which starts the arguments.
UGLY: We argue a lot and it’s probably because we are both stubborn and head strong. Compromise is hard because we have a hard time meeting halfway and always ends in “Whatever you want…” (sarcastically)
missfoodiefash
October 23, 2012 at 8:05 pmGood article, although I do not ask for permission and I refuse to stroke a man’s ego. But….that’s me. We Aries don’t get down like that. *wink*
Katherine Phillips
October 26, 2012 at 2:55 pmGood: I have a great partner. He is a great father and husband (most of the time on the husband part). He is my defender when I need it. I like the times when we collaborate. I like knowing someone loves me despite all my flaws. He is my best friend (actually my only friend)
Bad: I feel as if I am always worried about his feelings and screwing my own. I feel as if I get the blame for everything. I don’t really get support for the things I want to do. As Bernetta has said it feels like I am asking for everything which I would feel better about if he did the same. Things can be so overwhelming wearing so many hats. Sometimes I feel like I am in a tug of war match when it comes to some decisions.
After 13 years I figured out that everything with marriage is basically trial and error and a learning experience. No one says it is easy but it definitely isn’t for the weak.
PGRDresses
October 28, 2012 at 3:22 amThis was a great article.
As a single woman I hope to one day have all of the positives that you speak of. The security of having a man in the house holding things down must be a wonderful feeling.
As far as the cons, I guess being single they don’t seem too bad. If a man was holding it down for me I would inflate that ego and make sure he was happy all of the time. But you know what they say the grass always seem alot greener in somebody elses yard……..LOL
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