Living Smart W.I.F.E

Why Women Hurt Each Other: Oprah’s LifeClass

I am apart of a dynamic group for moms called Mocha Moms. It’s a national organization that is broken down into local chapters all across the country. Currently, I am over our Sister Circle for 2012 which means I (along with my partner Shannon) come up with new topics every month to dive into at a different Mochas home each month. These topics have a wide range but we always have great laughs & conversations when we get together.

This months Sister Circle was held this past Friday Night. We basically re-staged Oprah’s Lifeclass with Iyanla Vanzant called Why Women Hurt Each other. We played the show to the Mochas then discussed different situations on the commerical break with feedback. It was such a good meeting and I believe we all left the meeting agreeing not to play the victim and learning the lesson in every life situation.

One major thing I learned is that if you don’t want any of your business OUT there, don’t tell ANY one your business. Yes, people sometimes have a lapse in character but always remember your part. Also, know who your friends confide in, because everyone talks to someone!


Main Ways Women Betray Each Other

Main Reason Why Women Betray Each Other: SELF HATRED
1. We don’t honor relationships
2. We see external validation
3. We don’t honor ourselves.
4. We mimic what we’ve seen.
5. We hold unrealistic demands.

Why Women Gossip: FOR POWER
1. It’s acceptable among women
2. They don’t recognize the power of the spoken word. (meaning what you speak will come forth)
3. Divert attention from self.

Why Women Lie
1. Fear of losing love & respect.
2. Fear of hurting or disappointing.
3. Cover up issues of self worth
4. When we feel threatened.
5. To be polite.

The cool part is I was actually in the audience when this show was taped! A dream come true.
Did you watch this show? What are your thoughts? Have you even been betrayed by another women?



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  • Karen
    September 24, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    This is great! So glad you have a group of women to have this kind of dialogue with in your life. Even cooler that you were in the audience for the taped show.

    • Bernetta
      September 24, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      It was really cool Karen! Oprah looks GREAAAT!

  • Joyce Brewer
    September 24, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    What’s sad is one of my closest friends and I had a falling out.
    She hasn’t met my husband or my son.
    I wish women would treat each other better. I’m sure she has her version of the story and I’m sticking to mine.
    But with the limited amount of time I have as a wife, mom and business owner – I can not tolerate any back biting or drama.

    You’re so making me jealous so that you’re so active in Mocha Moms!

    • Bernetta
      September 24, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      Joyce it’s a great group. You should look up a chapter near you. I would love to invite you out to one of our many meetups. We have events for every category. Moms who stay at home (or work from home), Moms whose children are at school and they just want to get out. And More. Our next event is discussing ALL THREE BOOKS of THREE SHADES OF GREY!! I will keep you posted for a next event.

  • Andrea
    September 25, 2012 at 1:03 am

    This is really a great post! I’ve been meaning to look up Mocha Moms too – seems like a great network! I would add as a reason – we don’t know how to love ourselves which is reflected in broken relationships – even with other women. (Just my two cents)…

  • Tiffany
    September 25, 2012 at 11:54 am

    You know, I have a VERY small circle of friends because of the crazy behavior most women exhibit. I am a very loving and forgiving person, but once you start walking all over me, I just have to walk away. That’s something I didn’t learn until a few years ago, and I was so miserable because I allowed myself to be surrounded by so many negative “friends.” We need to build each other up, not tear each other down!

  • A Haute Mommy
    September 25, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    This seems like a very interesting group. This is definitely something I would love to be apart of. It’s seems all the bloggers out in Atlanta always have the best events and social gatherings. Here in South Carolina I haven’t found any probably because I really don’t know any SC bloggers. I’ve been thinking of starting my own social mom group once we get moved and settled and after the baby. Great topic and great information.

  • Katherine Phillips
    September 26, 2012 at 3:26 am

    This sounds like so much fun and nice to have some women to talk to. I saw the show and could relate to all of it. I plan on joining mocha moms as soon as I can get the membership fee

  • Erinn
    November 5, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    This sounds so cool and powerful! I love when women get together and speak honestly, so much progress is made. I wish I had a circle of support like this one. What a blessing.