I’ve always known who my dad was, but I didn’t always have a relationship with him. However, my mom and dad were together until I was 5 years old when he physically hurt her almost beyond recognition.
Unfortunately, I didn’t see my dad for 10 years after that.
At the age of 15, he came back into my life and started spending time with me. Furthermore, when I left for college at 17 that further complicated our relationship. After I received my degree, I moved to Atlanta and never moved back home to Chicago. As a result, my father-daughter relationship developed over the phone, with the occasional visit, for a couple of hours when I went back home.
Outside from what I saw on television when I got married, I had no real outline of how a marriage was supposed to work. My mother did eventually get married to my brother’s father, but that wasn’t a relationship I wanted to emulate either.
My husband came from a two parent home and they have been married for over 44 years. Once I got to know his parents and their family dynamic, I can see how having them as an example shaped who my husband is today.
We have three children and watching my husband be a father not only makes me excited for my children but gives me a tinge of the unease of what I missed out on.
It’s crazy that I’m excited about something that they are supposed to have.
6 Lessons my Husband Taught me about Fatherhood
- Quality Time. He loves spending time with his children. Whether it’s watching a family movie in our bed, or going to pick strawberries. He loves having his children around him.
- Genuine Attention. Children can tell when you’re not really listening. It’s so important to my husband that he gives his undivided attention to each of our children. Sometimes its hard when 3 kids are trying to talk over each other, but he makes it work.
- Teaching & Nurturing. Not only does he lead by example, he takes the time to make sure they are learning the lesson. If one of our children makes a mistake at school or on their sports team, he’s ready to share what will work better next time. He knows when they need hugs or tough love.
- Hands-on Raising. Many times, fathers are just looked at as being the provider. However, my husband equally raises these children with me. We make decisions and bring down the hammer together!
- Prayer & Worship. Having a relationship with God is very important to my husband and he wants the same for his children. He prays with and teaches them how to pray. He has full-blown discussions about the lessons they learn at church. Making sure God is a major part of their lives is a top priority.
- Someone to Look Up to. Children have all types of role models, however, their first hero should be their parents. Not because you make or tell them, but because of your actions. Last week I asked them why do they love their dad, the list was endless.
Another Great Father, Marlon
My husband and I love a good laugh and have made time to cuddle up and watch good TV. Last season, after we watched the first episode of Marlon, it became our summer show. Marlon premieres Thursday, June 14th at 9 pm on NBC.
Marlon Wayans created Marlon, a hilarious show on NBC about a social media sensation and divorced father of two who actively co-parents with his ex-wife, Ashley (Essence Atkins).
Although they are divorced, he’s a great father and shows all of the characteristics that my husband exhibits but with a ton more humor!
I love that Marlon, as a dad himself said the show is “eighty-seven percent” based on his actual life. He was quoted saying, “I always wanted to be on a show where I could be me,” he said. “I think it’s a different kind of TV dad, and it’s a different kind of TV family and [the character] has kind of a different approach to things. ”
Marlon’s character is hilariously present for everything his children need and makes it his priority to teach them life lessons.
Season 2 of Marlon is back on NBC, June 14th at 9:00 pm. If you want to catch up, season 1 will debut on Netflix on June 14th as well. You can always watch clips now on NBC.com
Check out the preview for the upcoming season below:
Watching my kids with their dad makes me wonder how my life would have been different if I had an active father in my life.
I believe I would be a different person. I’m not saying that I’m not a good person now. My mother and grandmother did the best they could do, but children need their fathers for many reasons. Mothers and Fathers have a purpose and bring different benefits to the table.
When I see my own daughter wrapped in her daddy’s arms, I get a front row seat to what I missed growing up.
Whether you’re married or co-parenting like Marlon, fatherhood is a priority.
What has your husband taught you about fatherhood? Are you a Marlon fan? Will you be watching this summer?
I’m excited to be partnered up with some great ladies who are sharing their perspective on fatherhood as well.
Brandi | How you can identify a good dad (her journey from single parenting to marriage)
LaShawn | Differences in parenting styles between her and her husband
Amiryah | How they parent differently, and that’s OK
Michelle | Knowing your communication styles as co-parents and in blended families
Marlon premieres Thursday, June 14th at 9 pm on NBC.