Son: Mom, I like a girl named Jasmine.
Me: Awwww, ok.
This little girl wasn’t in his class, but he saw her in the cafeteria and the hall ways during the day. Of course nothing ever came of this school boy crush. His actual first crush.
Now, Fast Forward to 4th Grade:
Me: Do you still see Jasmine at school? Do you still have a crush on her.
Son: Yes mommy. I see her in Kilometer Kids! I still like her, but I like more girls too!
Daughter: Oooooh Mommy, Earl likes Kennedy, Tara, Emily, Emerson, Kayli, Riley, Shannon & …..
Mom: Ummmm, Son is this true?
Son: *Silence, but smiles*
This past Friday, my son was over his friends house for a few hours. When my husband brought him home, he ran up to me and immediately asked me can he take his shower in the morning and go to bed right now.
I gave him the nod, and he kissed me goodnight.
I didn’t think anything about it because when he is really tired, he will ask can he take his shower the next day. I noticed my husband came in and called our son back into the living room for a discussion. I tried to stay out of it, but of course I couldn’t help but notice that my son was in trouble.
My husband kept asking my son to explain his actions, and he started to stutter and carefully think about his responses. My husband would not let up. I walked over and asked what is wrong. My husband asked me to give them some time alone. WHHHAADD!! I want to be involved! I want to know what he did! Instead, I gave my son a hug and walked into the kitchen….. still trying to listen.
After a few minutes of talking, it ended with my son getting in BIG trouble, issuing an apology, and even some crying before he headed to bed.
My son was playing with his friend and these two (9 year old boys), leave the house without asking (major issue #1) and go to a neighbors house. A little girl answers and my son kisses her! Yup! Just kisses her.
No, she didn’t ask him too.
No, he didn’t ask her can he do this.
Those are all the details I have.
What I don’t know…
- How the girl responded
- How my son’s friends father found out
- If her parents knew
- If it was a peck or a french kiss
- Why he did it
- If he went there with intentions to kiss this little girl
Why don’t I know this? Because my husband didn’t even ask!!!!!!! MEN!!!
My husband explained to our son why what he did was wrong for 2 main reasons:
- You are 9!
- You do not force yourself on anyone.
My son has become girl crazy over the last year and if he is trying to kiss girls at 9 – if we don’t put a fork in this behavior, what will he be trying to do at 11? One thing my husband and I agreed on is, he will stop watching all these sitcoms with kids that are older than him. He doesn’t need to see shows with teenagers doing teenage things, because he is trying to implement that behavior.
He already spends a lot of time with his father, but usually his siblings are there. We think its time to start spending even more one-on-one time. It’s important to see his father in certain situations doing the right thing. My husband is also going to start talking to him about girls (the do’s & don’ts).
I hear parents say all the time, “I’m not ready for this!” referring to different things parents go through. My husband and I had this moment Friday evening.
What was your “I’m not ready for this!” moment?