Motherhood Monday

My Kids Told Me How to be a Better Mommy : The Conscious Parent #Lifeclass

10355819_10203032825255111_41455739550613146_n[1]Friday afternoon I picked up my oldest two children from school and while driving home I decided to ask a tough question. “What would make me a better mommy?” They both stopped what they were doing and just looked at me for a second. I think they were surprised and unprepared. Then they started to rattle things off! Thank goodness it was only 3 things, but I am sure these three things could change the dynamics of our relationship.

  1. “Stop yelling at us!” – My 6-year-old told me #1 & #2. I actually knew this was coming though. I know I yell and I want to stop. Sometimes afterward, I do feel bad. I know it has to be better way, but without thinking you sometimes go back to the way you were raised.
  2. “Stop interrupting us and talking over us when we talk!” – STOP! Who are you talking to? I didn’t say that, but wanted to. I just let that marinate for a while. I questioned myself, do I really do that? I am sure I do. I am the mom, I must have the last word. Or do I? Do I let them get out their points and looking back, sometimes I don’t.
  3. “Take us more fun places!” Now my 8-year-old son told me this and I got a little defensive. I reminded him how I take them places all the time! I quickly started rolling off the movie screenings, six flags, museums, parks, events and on and on!! Then he said, “Oh yeah mom! You’re right, but we want more.” I just said, “Ok.” I had to sit and think, kids don’t dwell on the past. They are always in the present. They enjoy what they are doing and when it’s over, they are on to the next. So although they are enjoying some event every week, once it’s over – where are you taking us next. I get it now.

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I watch LifeClass every week and think those classes are truly a gift. I have learned a lot about myself and enjoy the many Ah Haa’s. If these types of things would have been taught in high school or college who knows where I would be. This weekend I caught Super Soul Sunday & LifeClass with Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of The Conscious Parent.

Super Soul Sunday came on around 10am and I really saw so many things I could be doing different in my parenting. I couldn’t wait for Lifeclass later that evening to get more into the conversational lesson of The Conscious Parent. There were so many lessons & tweetables during this show that I couldn’t name them all, but here are a few nuggets.

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Our children show us a mirror to our undeveloped selves. #gulp #SuperSoulSunday — Amanda Littlejohn (@amandamogul) May 18, 2014

What did I learn? What I am walking away with from the show is that I need to connect more with my children. I need to not rush through the day or even experiences with them. I need to actually be present in every moment, because they can actually tell. When you are present in their conversations, lives and true experiences it’s a different outcome and a true relationship builder. It changes their behavior and their experiences as well. It is going to cause me to really look at myself but I am up for the challenge.

I am going to get this book, and have a sit down with the hubby although I actually think my husband is more connected than I am. He’s a great parent. To read more or purchase the book click here.

Did you watch it yesterday? What are you thoughts? Could you learn anything from Dr. Tsabary?

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Tosha
    May 19, 2014 at 10:25 am

    I think that no matter what we do as parents…our children are always going to think we could do better. I thought my mom could’ve been better. I know Taylin thinks I could do better. I just do my BEST…and pray it’s good enough. But more fun places…children please…yall are having fun!!!

  • Reply
    Mia
    May 19, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Great read Bernetta!! It’s good to hear that you are working so hard to be a better parent. There is always room for improvement but there are many many other parents out there that are worse off than you are. They should be doing the same thing. Although I feel like you are doing an exceptional job as a parent, keep it up!!!

  • Reply
    Kita
    May 19, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    I have it on DVR so I can’t wait to watch it I like watching lifeclass uninterrupted so I can take notes and stuff. We as parents do what we can with what we have and our kids appreciate our time more than anything.

  • Reply
    Patricia A. Patton
    May 20, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Hey. I thought this was a good Lifeclass. I taped it since I was away. But I will buy the book and send to my son and daughter-in-love. Always good to be reminded to live consciously and loved that your children told you the truth.

  • Reply
    Brandi
    May 21, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    I believe in all of this, for sure! When I listen to my daughter, REALLY listen…I learn so much!

  • Reply
    BalancingMama (Julie)
    May 22, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    It’s so hard to do our best when our days are hectic. I love that you asked your kids what they thought could make you better. Great perspective.

  • Reply
    Notorious Spinks
    May 25, 2014 at 1:15 am

    These are great tips. One thing that I always remember is that children are people, too. The same way we want respect, we should respect them, too. That doesn’t mean we don’t parent but it means we consider their feelings, we discuss their options instead of telling them what they want. For instance, when Goo wants hot dogs for breakfast… we negotiate. If you eat a healthy breakfast then we can have hot dogs and juice for lunch w/ no bread. It’s the small things that matter to them.

  • Reply
    Joyce@MommyTalkShow
    May 25, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    You’re brave to ask them such an open ended question. But it’s something we should all do. I’ve only caught a few of the Super Soul Sundays, unfortunately.

  • Reply
    ANDREA
    May 27, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Our children are like little mirrors – a reflection of who we are. When I see my daughter doing less than stellar things I have to check myself to see where she may have picked that behavior up from. Gotta love the kids.

  • Reply
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