Friday afternoon I picked up my oldest two children from school and while driving home I decided to ask a tough question. “What would make me a better mommy?” They both stopped what they were doing and just looked at me for a second. I think they were surprised and unprepared. Then they started to rattle things off! Thank goodness it was only 3 things, but I am sure these three things could change the dynamics of our relationship.
- “Stop yelling at us!” – My 6-year-old told me #1 & #2. I actually knew this was coming though. I know I yell and I want to stop. Sometimes afterward, I do feel bad. I know it has to be better way, but without thinking you sometimes go back to the way you were raised.
- “Stop interrupting us and talking over us when we talk!” – STOP! Who are you talking to? I didn’t say that, but wanted to. I just let that marinate for a while. I questioned myself, do I really do that? I am sure I do. I am the mom, I must have the last word. Or do I? Do I let them get out their points and looking back, sometimes I don’t.
- “Take us more fun places!” Now my 8-year-old son told me this and I got a little defensive. I reminded him how I take them places all the time! I quickly started rolling off the movie screenings, six flags, museums, parks, events and on and on!! Then he said, “Oh yeah mom! You’re right, but we want more.” I just said, “Ok.” I had to sit and think, kids don’t dwell on the past. They are always in the present. They enjoy what they are doing and when it’s over, they are on to the next. So although they are enjoying some event every week, once it’s over – where are you taking us next. I get it now.
I watch LifeClass every week and think those classes are truly a gift. I have learned a lot about myself and enjoy the many Ah Haa’s. If these types of things would have been taught in high school or college who knows where I would be. This weekend I caught Super Soul Sunday & LifeClass with Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of The Conscious Parent.
Super Soul Sunday came on around 10am and I really saw so many things I could be doing different in my parenting. I couldn’t wait for Lifeclass later that evening to get more into the conversational lesson of The Conscious Parent. There were so many lessons & tweetables during this show that I couldn’t name them all, but here are a few nuggets.
What did I learn? What I am walking away with from the show is that I need to connect more with my children. I need to not rush through the day or even experiences with them. I need to actually be present in every moment, because they can actually tell. When you are present in their conversations, lives and true experiences it’s a different outcome and a true relationship builder. It changes their behavior and their experiences as well. It is going to cause me to really look at myself but I am up for the challenge.
I am going to get this book, and have a sit down with the hubby although I actually think my husband is more connected than I am. He’s a great parent. To read more or purchase the book click here.
Did you watch it yesterday? What are you thoughts? Could you learn anything from Dr. Tsabary?