W.I.F.E

Is Your Marriage a Job or Career?

MARRIAGE

Is your marriage a JOB or a Career? I actually got this question from my pastor during a sermon some a while back.

When he first said it, I was like “WHEWWW” blown away because I never thought of it like that and immediately wrote it down. He started comparing a job versus a career and then started relating it to marriage.

MARRIAGE

What is the difference between a Job and a Career to you?

Marriage as at job:

For me a job is a place at this point in my life that I really don’t want to have. If I have a job then it’s just a stepping stone to my career. A job is a place that I wouldn’t want to be at for too long. And sometimes the job you have – you settled for because it’s not the real career you always dreamed you have.

Sometimes you settle for a job because the money pays the bills. Everyday you go hoping something better will come along or you just allow your self to be content with what you have because you mind says, “At least I have a job!”

Is your marriage a JOB? Did you settle when you married your spouse? Is your mind completely there?

Did you marry him because you knew he would be a good provider and father to the children, but he wasn’t necessarily the love of your life? Are you always wondering what could have been? Even as bold as looking for something better? Do you work hard in your marriage (job) to make it better or you settle for the current state it’s in?

Marriage as a career:

A career to me is something that I am doing that I have always wanted to do. Or have at least worked myself up the ladder to this current position and in some way feel that, “I have arrived” or “I am surely on my way.”

When you have a career, you are happy to tell people what you do, where you work and your struggles to the top. You still have valleys in the career but it’s no other place you rather be. When you have a career, if you stop working for one company, you will go to another to do the exact same thing – hopefully making more money!

In most cases, you prepare for years for your career. You go to school. You intern. You do your research on the career. You might even work for free just to get experience. You see yourself in that position. Is your marriage a Career? Do you love being there? Did you always dream of being with your husband and now that you have him – you will do anything to make the marriage the best it can be.

Do you want to be there? Are you always trying to keep things spicy? Do you feel this marriage is what you worked for? You researched marriage and what a WIFE is, you did the pre-martial counseling (not saying that it’s a pre-requisite but in your mind you wanted to cover all the bases).

Again, for me it was really something to think about when I heard the question. I started to question myself and what I thought my marriage was based on my actions, thoughts and feelings.

Interesting find.

Ask yourself.

So, is your Marriage a Job or Career? Feel free to answer with just your initials if you need to.

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11 Comments

  • Reply
    Renae
    January 22, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Great post-defiantly thought provoking. I think in the day to day, I mainly treat it as a “job”; it does get challenging especially when you have kids and with your out of the home jobs it can be a lot and priorities aren’t necessarily always placed with your marriage. It should be but in the hustle and bustle of life that does seem to be the one thing I can “think about later” so to speak.

  • Reply
    kita
    January 22, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Whoa …..deep question. I am going to be honest my marriage started off as a career I started off thinking I can work my way up and we will be good to go now it feels like a job that is going nowhere I am stuck in the same position so to speak nothing is changing. I hate being stuck with no room for growth. I won’t put the blame on him I think getting married at such a young age I had this idea of how it should be and as I grew my ideas changed. Just like a career though everything requires work so I am rolling up my sleeve and making changes within me maybe that will bring a change to the “job front”

    • Reply
      Mylah Sai
      January 22, 2013 at 4:55 pm

      Kita, I COMPLETELY understand. I had a vision of what I thought marriage would be and lo and behold, it was completely opposite. I think we’ll be victorious in making changes to the “job front” and live a life in a happy, change-making, healthy career! Much love! 🙂

  • Reply
    Mylah Sai
    January 22, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    Very, very, very good question. As a matter of fact, I think the question just changed my entire outlook of our marriage. My marriage started as a job and is growing into a career…with enough board meetings to keep us abreast of changes and enough breaks and lunches (time for ourselves individually). 🙂 It’s an everyday thing for us; something that we work on and assess consistently. Now, after nearly four years, we’re starting to “get it.” And having a blended family made it seem like a job at first…well, because it was. It was a task, a chore, whatever you’d like to call it. But God is blessing us and we’re working together more and building our career together. Great post, Sis!

  • Reply
    Miss Foodie Fash
    January 22, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    Great job, lady! Very well written post. You came with the fire! I wish more bloggers wrote posts like these.

  • Reply
    xtraleo
    January 22, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    Looove it!!! Can I be honest? Right now my marriage is kind of feeling like a job – not quite dead end, but a job no less. We working on it. Nice post. #blmgirl Andrea @ http://www.be-quoted.com

  • Reply
    Janelle King
    January 23, 2013 at 12:22 am

    This is a great post Bernetta. You have me pondering over here. I did not look at it that way. I really loved this post and I shared it with my friends and fiance.

  • Reply
    Alisha LAMPLEY
    January 23, 2013 at 1:03 am

    Love this! What’s funny is hubby and I always joke about who’s the CEO and our “job responsibilities”. He usually gets fired at least once a month, but we are working better on our careers now. lol

  • Reply
    Katherine Phillips
    January 24, 2013 at 5:02 am

    This is a great post. It definitely makes you think. I see my marriage as a career. I am willing to out in the work to make it work. It has it’s Ups and downs but i will always put 100% effort towards it.

  • Reply
    Teems
    January 25, 2013 at 1:47 am

    My marriage is a career for me. I have to admit, unless we are in a heated debate about something my husband makes it easy for me by not demanding things like cooking every day. lol We have our days though..I am with Kita, making changes in myself that will reflect in my marriage.

  • Reply
    marriage therapy
    August 8, 2013 at 4:21 am

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